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Ask Me About My Uterus: A Quest to Make Doctors Believe in Women's Pain, by Abby Norman
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Review
Selected as one of the top ten titles in Lifestyle for Spring 2018.―Publishers Weekly"Required reading for anyone who is a woman, or has ever met a woman. This means you."―Jenny Lawson, author of Let's Pretend This Never Happened and Furiously Happy"This book deals with such an important subject. Abby Norman's odyssey with her own health is sadly an all too common story to those of us who suffered in silence for so long. My hope is that anyone involved in women's health will read her story and revisit the way we treat women and their health concerns in our culture."―Padma Lakshmi, New York Times best-selling author and co-founder of the Endometriosis Foundation of America"A fresh, honest, and startling look at what it means to exist in a woman's body, in all of its beauty and pain. Abby's voice is inviting, unifying, and remarkably brave."―Gillian Anderson, Actress, activist and co-author of We: A Manifesto For Women Everywhere"[Norman] builds a convincing case that women describing discomfort are more likely than men to be dismissed by physicians, but along the way tells a story that will resonate with anyone (man or woman) who has ever experienced pain.... [She] is a terrific storyteller with a gift for weaving memorable anecdotes, some drawn from medical history, others from recent scientific debates and most plucked from her own travails... Norman's life is much more than a disease.... [An] important addition to a long tradition of pain memoirs. Norman shares a particular tale of suffering but expresses a common frustration about the dearth of words to convey pain. Any schoolgirl can talk about love, Virginia Woolf famously said, but 'let a sufferer try to describe a pain in his head to a doctor and language at once runs dry.'"―New York Times Book Review"Compelling and impressively, Norman's narrative not only offers an unsparing look at the historically and culturally fraught relationship between women and their doctors, it also reveals how, in the quest for answers and good health, women must still fight a patriarchal medical establishment to be heard. Disturbing but important reading."―Kirkus Reviews"From wandering wombs to ovary compressors, Abby Norman's book is packed with fascinating historical detail about how women's bodies have been misunderstood and mistreated by male doctors for centuries. It is also an important reminder that there is still a culture of silence surrounding women's gynecological health in the twenty-first century, and that there is work yet to be done when it comes to advocating for women's healthcare."―Lindsey Fitzharris, author of The Butchering Art"With searing prose, science writer and editor Norman pens a heartfelt medical history and memoir of coming to terms with the limitations of one's physical body....A thoughtful read."―Library Journal"Abby Norman writes powerfully about her experience living with endometriosis and presents research on the disease and the history of women who were brushed off by medical professionals. You know, like how hysteria is anything that ails a woman, but the same symptoms do not equate hysteria in a man. It's hitting all my feminist and history and medicine buttons."―Book Riot"Author and activist Abby Norman, has put decades of labor-including careful, independent medical study-into studying this phenomenon, as she describes in her book Ask Me About My Uterus, both a memoir and a trenchant manifesto."―The New Republic
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About the Author
Abby Norman is a science writer and hosts a daily podcast on Anchor.fm. Her work has been featured in the Rumpus, Independent, Paste Magazine, Medium, Atlas Obscura, Seventeen, Quartz, Cosmopolitan, and Lady Science/The New Inquiry. As a patient advocate and speaker, she has been on conference faculty at the Endometriosis Foundation of America, Stanford University's Medicine X conference, and received health literacy training through the Dartmouth Institute. She lives on the coast of Maine with her dog, Whimsy.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Bold Type Books; Reprint edition (March 5, 2019)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1568589417
ISBN-13: 978-1568589411
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 1.1 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
54 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#100,429 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Ask Me About My Uterus reads like a murder-mystery being solved by the victim -- it's that gripping and that personal. Abby Norman centers this book on her experience with illness, but is careful to buttress her narrative with science (such as it is with a condition that is not well-studied or understood).I'm always interested to read about how someone overcame hardship or impossible odds and this book delivers a heroine who essentially reads and writes her way out of the darkness. I loved this passage: "The patient who brings in a binder full of PubMed articles should be considered not so much for the specifics of what she has found, but for the fact that she has devoted so much time to the search...the very act of researching, and of supplying the fruits of that quest, is clinically relevant, if only because they are evidence of how the condition has affected the patient's life." Yes! Which made it particularly galling when, at the end of the book, a doctor dismisses the author's research by implying that the roots of her physical ailments lie in her intense love of reading and trying to solve the riddles she is facing. Excuse her for trying to save her own life, please.This book gave me hope that we are entering a new phase of medicine -- one that welcomes empowered, engaged patients who are able to connect online with the resources and peers they need to solve problems.
(I apologize in advance for my rambling review, but this book had such a tremendous impact on me and I'm struggling to find a succinct way of expressing why I think it was such a great and important read.)Abby Norman started experiencing odd symptoms of leg weakness in her teens, and then extreme pain while at college, and despite numerous trips to various medical professionals for both those things, none of the doctors she consulted had any answers for her.The worse that her pain became, the stranger the symptoms, and the longer she suffered, the more the doctors started to dismiss her. It didn't take long for the "it's all in your head" implication to be brought up, simply because Norman's symptoms didn't fit neatly into any diagnosis. And since Norman had a tumultuous childhood (emancipated from her parents at a fairly young age), was highly intelligent (managed to graduate from high school and get a full scholarship to Sarah Lawrence), not passive (very invested in finding relief for her suffering), and actually had experience in the medical field (after she left college, she worked in medical documentation in a hospital), doctors latched on to the "female hysteria" model of Days or Yore and basically tagged her with that diagnosis and kept trying to send her on her way.I could relate so much to this book because my story is the *opposite* of Norman's- I was born with Spina Bifida, and in my 43 years have experienced everything from muscle weakness to bone deterioration to depression to nerve pain to various issues with "lady business", etc and my whole body has always been this weird mish-mash of symptoms, subject to radically shift at any time, but because I had the blessing of a very firm diagnosis when I was born, I have been able to navigate everything health-related with the peace of mind that comes with knowing *why* it's happening. Most everything I have experienced can be basically stepped down from diagnosis to diagnosis back to Spina Bifida. And Spina Bifida is not a simple disease- no two patients experience it the same way and it affects multiple systems in various ways. But reading this book made me realize that a diagnosis- even a very complex one- can be a gift simply because doctors *believe* you.So, coming from my own experience, I can't imagine how devastating it must be to experience everything from extreme pain, nausea, dizziness, muscle weakness, nerve issues, etc., to NOT know what the heck is causing all of it, to live in a constant state of fear that your body is basically failing and might not be able to be healed, and then to have the doctors say "you're not actually experiencing any of it- you're too high strung. Try and relax and it'll get better" ... I have friends who have struggled with various "mystery diseases" so I was aware that the medical establishment can really not serve everyone, but this book made me realize that it's a lot more widespread than I realize. The idea that people are going through this experience on a regular basis is just heart breaking and also so very frustrating. I never realized before reading this book what a gift a firm diagnosis can be- all I have to do is walk into most any medical establishment and say "Spina Bifida" and I am taken seriously and whatever I am experiencing is given consideration. I can't imagine experiencing what I have experienced and trying to get help and having someone say "that numbness in your foot? It's all due to emotional stress. If you chill out, it should go away. Good luck with that."Another reason I related to this book is because Norman really shares what it's like to live long-term with a chronic health problem- you have to basically tailor your entire life, every detail of it, to preventative care. Other people don't understand why it's so important to do it, but to maintain any semblance of sanity or general "okayness"- today and in the future-, you basically have to serve your own health before anything else. It was such a relief to finally read someone else's experience with this. Anyone with a rather complex set of health problems knows that we can't just jump out of bed, put on our shoes, and walk out into the sunshine And we get a lot of flack for it from people who don't really get what it's like- we get flack for not being able to make a lot of plans, for not being able to travel a lot, for choosing to stay home and take care of ourselves rather than just throwing up our arms and going out and embracing life. If we don't take care of ourselves, we don't *get* life. It's not that we choose to be this way- the fact is we don't *have* a choice. If we blow off our routines, if we take even a day off from all the preventative things we do, sometimes the cost can be weeks in the hospital or permanent damage. So having Norman say "this is how I live, and how I make my life work, and that's that" was very refreshing for me. It made me realize that a lot more of us are doing this than I thought.So this book was eye-opening, enraging, heart-breaking, empowering, and ... well, it was astonishing to me. I highly recommend it to everyone whether you have health problems or not. This isn't about health or medicine, it's about what it's like to be human in a less-than-perfect body. And whether or not a person experiences a health problem early in life health issues of some sort are almost inevitable down the line, given the way in which the human body ages and begins to break down. Very few people escape their life unscathed in some way and I think a lot of us, even with complex medical problems, take for granted that if we fall ill, at the very least a doctor will be able to find the source of that problem and offer a treatment. But now I realize that's not always the case.I'm sorry for this terribly rambling review, but this book really impacted me.
“Hi, I’m Abby Norman. I am not a doctor — but I might have been.†That is not how Abby begins her book — that introduction does not show up until Chapter 7, when she uses it for a presentation she is making to an endometriosis conference — but it should begin any discussion of Abby Norman’s book, because you need to understand that Abby has a brilliant mind that should have been in use for the medical benefit of humanity. Instead she has spent her entire adult life — and she is not yet thirty — fighting the medical establishment to prove that she is not a hypochondriac, nor a hysteric, nor a fanciful delusional woman who likes to read medical descriptions online. She is a young woman who is very sick, and would like doctors to fix her. Or if they can’t fix her, correctly diagnose her condition. Or if they cannot diagnose her, at least shut up and listen to what she has to say about her own symptoms, and what she’s learned about the disease that’s killing her.Ask Me About My Uterus (AMAMU) is not precisely a page-turner, but it drew me in and got me hooked. I bought Abby’s book in hardcover, so to save weight I did not bring it on a trip. At the airport, I bought the electronic version for iBooks, because I didn’t want to wait three days to finish it.This will not be a comfortable read for many men, and some women. Abby’s descriptions of her conditions and treatments are graphic (albeit smoothed with self-deprecating humor) and concern the “icky parts†of a woman’s system. [Suggestion for men who get uncomfortable hearing about “women’s problemâ€â€Šâ€” get over yourselves. Half the people on the planet are female, so learn what most of them go through on a monthly basis. If you’re heterosexual, your partner could use some support. If you’re gay, your mother or female friends need occasional empathy. If you’re an orphaned monk in a remote monastery, get off the Internet before I tattle to your abbot.]Many people, when they get close to the end of their life, feel a need to leave a legacy, or a remembrance, or some token that they made a difference in this world. Abby Norman is a woman in her 20s who is learning as much about the disease of endometriosis as she can so that she can leave behind something that others can build on; so that she can help advance knowledge about a “woman’s disease†that has been noted but mostly ignored for centuries simply because it is a “woman’s disease†(although, it turns out, it actually isn’t; it’s just more rare and manifests differently in males—see Chapter 6).AMAMU follows different tracks and timelines, switching between the personal and the clinical. The Prologue is almost a teaser, as Abby tells us about a very bad day when she was in college, with physical symptoms she had never experienced before and didn’t understand. From there she takes us through the history of medicine (spoiler: a lot of things we think we know about the human body were not actually researched as well as we’ve been lead to believe); through her personal history (God, if You’re reading this, a child who has been through what Abby lived through when she was growing up should not have had to endure what she encountered as an adult — just a comment from a customer); into her determination that she has endometriosis, and her struggle with the medical establishment to get them to take action.Abby is dying. Of course, everyone is dying, but Abby is going a little bit faster some days than most of us are. Is her book self-pitying? No, although she mentions days she feels sorry for herself. Is her book sad? How could a book about a brilliant young woman who is condemned to soul-crushing pain and loss of career and collection agencies hounding her for hospital bills she will never, ever be able to pay… how could a book like that NOT be sad? And yet it isn’t. I hesitate to use the word “inspiring,†because it’s gotten trite, but “informative†would be an understatement. Ask Me About My Uterus has made me glad that people like Abby Norman are in the world.
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