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Product details
File Size: 2537 KB
Print Length: 168 pages
Publisher: Coach House Books (July 11, 2016)
Publication Date: July 11, 2016
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B01HQC5TFU
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#513,048 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
It took me a few minutes to understand that the title of this book should be pronounced “KLO-ser†(as in, “We’re getting KLO-serâ€) -- rather than “KLO-zer†(as in, “Mariano Rivera, the Yankees’ KLO-zer, would often be called to the mound in the 9th inningâ€). Staring at the hand-stitched image of a vulva on the book’s cover, I’d at first wondered why any woman would refer to her vulva as her “KLO-zer.†Someone you called in at the end to win the game? A few minutes into the book, it was clear this was indeed a book about “We’re getting KLO-ser†-- in at least two senses of the word: First -- the common of experience of women who get ever-closer to orgasm, but can’t quite make it happen. The results of the sexual revolution, writes Barmak, have been a disappointment for many if not most women. The author does an excellent job in describing recent efforts by sex researchers, sex therapists, and sex enthusiasts in what she calls the “female sexual underground†to help more women get closer to the kind of sex they’re innately capable of. Second -- “KLO-ser†refers to the dream of sex researchers, both lay and professional, that someday we’ll get KLO-ser to the hidden secrets of female sexuality and the female orgasm. Much of the book covers familiar ground -- the historical neglect of female sexual anatomy and female erotic response; the new sexual science being done by people like Barry Komisaruk, Beverly Whipple, Lori Brotto, Meredith Chivers, Lisa Diamond, and Cynthia Meston. The presentation is lively and interesting. But what really sets this book apart -- at least to this veteran sex-book reviewer -- are the moments when the writing veers away from the familiar, and we encounter alternative voices -- like Mikaya Heart, who thinks, in Barmak’s words, that “some women don’t have orgasms because, on some level, it’s not the right time.†This statement gives Barmak pause -- as it gave me pause reading it. As David Brooks noted in his book, BOBOs in Paradise, we tend today to fuse the bohemian impulse towards sexual freedom with the bourgeois idea that if we just need to work hard at sex we’ll be rewarded with more pleasure and satisfaction. As Barmak writes, “Somewhere along the way, orgasm became to women what an erection is to men . . . a source of inadequacy if it doesn’t appear on cue.†If we get closer to what sex might really feel like, the truth is that it might be terribly disruptive. Barmak considers this, pondering Mikaya Heart’s idea that sometimes an orgasm might not occur because you’re not ready for how it might disrupt your life. “It sounds crazy,†she writes. “But if true, it would help explain why some of the women I’d met while researching this book had gotten close with their Hitachi Magic Wands, only to stop at the cliff’s edge, bursting into tears.†Barmak does an outstanding job reporting on the efforts of sexual science and the “female sexual underground†to get more women “KLO-ser†to the kind of sex they’re capable of. But she’s also mindful that most people are never going to be interested in the kinds of radical, disorienting passions engaged in by what David Schnarch called the “blessed few.†The book ends on a note that’s both hopeful and humble. Sexual pleasure and orgasm are gifts of nature, she writes. But it’s up to us, as we get KLO-ser to understanding the true nature of these gifts, to take care of them wisely. I feel this book would be of interest to a wider audience, and I hope it ultimately gets the broader attention it deserves.
I design vibrators and I studied human sexuality in school, so I have read a LOT of books on this topic. Sarah Barmak has achieved something great here, this book is well written, well researched, and entertaining, all at the same time. I am pretty well-read and she taught me new things. I'll be recommending it to everyone I know.
CLOSER was a gift while vacationing at the Harmony Hotel in Nosara Beach, Costa Rica. This was the perfect time to add Sarah's informed disclosures to my library on female sexuality and the Awakening Feminine. I am grateful to know another informed Sista!Blessings on your lovely book,Caroline Muir, AuthorTANTRA GODDESS, A Memoir of Sexual Awakening
The autor gathered others autors with subjects about orgasm. This reading is strongly recommended for those husbands looking for enhancing the ties with their wives
This book was informative but in an easy to read way!
Delivered as promised.
With Closer, Sarah Barmak has tackled an underserved subject with great wit and wisdom. I imagine this book will resonate more deeply with women, but this man learned a lot. I can't recommend this book strongly enough.
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